Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
