So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
