Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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