So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Randomize
