Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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