but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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