Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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