Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
