Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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