Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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