Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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