K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she pinky promised me she was 18
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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