She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
