READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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