I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
