so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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