At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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