I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
