I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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