So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
