you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
