what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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