I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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