i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
