I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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