yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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