so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
