I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
