I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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