I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
