My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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