I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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