whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
