Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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