sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
