I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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