ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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