You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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