I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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