I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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