# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize