I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
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Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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