This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
