It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
