Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
