Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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