youre lurking in front of me
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize