So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
