arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
