So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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