I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
