Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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