she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i now understand why vodka
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
