I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
