So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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