i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize