he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
