i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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