I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
