You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
