sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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