There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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