I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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