She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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