Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
