Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
