Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
