guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
