I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
