I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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