you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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